Do you worry about those you love?
I had been worrying about a loved one for the last few years. They had been mildly depressed for the last several years and had some uncomfortable symptoms/conditions in their body as a result. I urged them to seek help. My pleas were sometimes met with, “I’m fine. I’ll do something when I’m ready.” At other times, they would glaze over and numb out. And at other times, they would make promises that they haven’t followed through with even still.
My worry continued to build. I tried to get right in my head and just focus on the good that was going on around me, but my relief was always temporary and would make its full circle back to the worry.
I realized I’ve made a habit of the worry regarding this circumstance. I thought I had broken the worry habit a while back, but there it was, again!
So in my exploration of “my stuff”, I knew I needed to shift my perspective of my loved one. I knew that was the way I could support them in their healing and be happier within myself. But, I struggled to make the shift.
I was always so shocked at their resistance to getting help as I know this person wants to be the best they can be.
Today I was sitting on a big tree branch that hangs over a stream in the midst of the woods; a treasured oasis in our neighborhood. A big piece of the puzzle came to me. When I worry about others, I’m sending a clear message, “I don’t believe in you. I don’t believe that you can take care of yourself. I don’t believe that you make good choices for yourself.”
No wonder my concern was met with such resistance as that would totally ruffle my feathers for someone to send me that vibe as I am quite independent.
So right then, I had the clear perspective that I wanted to create. I want to send the message, “I believe in you. I’m sorry you’ve had to go through these tough times, but I know that you’re getting through it. No matter how long it takes, I know that you’ll do what you need to do and find what you need to find in order to find peace and joy for yourself.”
This perspective felt so good that I turned it toward myself, too. I realized I had been sending the same vibe of disbelief in myself with certain things, so I need that message for myself. So I just kept repeating the above paragraph to them, then to me, in my head and in my heart.
I needed that. Things feel so much better, because I’m trusting in the strength of the human spirit and the Divine unfolding of life and that “All is Well.” Wouldn’t you know it, their resistance has all but dissolved since my shift in perspective, too!
Do you worry about those you love? Maybe trying a new perspective will help.
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With love –